


32557

by LadyLokiLaufeyson



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Mentions of PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-25
Updated: 2014-04-25
Packaged: 2018-01-20 18:39:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1521413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLokiLaufeyson/pseuds/LadyLokiLaufeyson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky wears clunky combat boots and dark too-tight jeans and he’s always stealing shirts from everyone, no matter if it’s Steve’s too big shirts, or Natasha’s too small tank tops, or Sam’s almost-just-right plaid shirts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	32557

**Author's Note:**

> Kinda sorta inspired by [this](http://gyzym.tumblr.com/post/83334259913/hello-this-is-a-text-post-in-support-of-bucky) text post on tumblr. This is set about 3 to 5 years after the events of TWS.

Bucky wears clunky combat boots and dark too-tight jeans and he’s always stealing shirts from everyone, no matter if it’s Steve’s too big shirts, or Natasha’s too small tank tops, or Sam’s almost-just-right plaid shirts. 

He wears sunglasses on a daily basis, inside and out. He wears a different pair each day (thanks to Stark, who’d sent him an entire collection of glasses and sunglasses, far more than any one man should probably have) but he took a certain liking to aviator sunglasses. Maybe it was because they were big and concealed his face and his subconscious was still telling him to hide and keep his identity a secret. Or maybe somewhere in the back of his mind, Bucky remembered that back in the army in the 40s, many of the pilots would wear sunglasses like that, and he was instinctively going for something familiar. 

He dyes and cuts and shaves his hair to whatever he feels like, whenever he feels like. He’s had it sidecut and green, he’s had it long and blue, he’s had it medium length and red (‘Like Natasha’s’ he’d said, grinning after he came back from the in-building salon Stark had put in the tower after seeing Bucky’s constant need to change his hair. Although Steve kind of thought that he just put it in to show off; but he’d never let Tony know that), and he’s had it messy and dyed red, white, and blue, much to Sam and the rest of the gang’s amusement. 

He has an impressive amount of piercings in his ears, to the point where if he puts enough in, it’ll look like his ears are encrusted in shimmery golds and silvers. He even had a nose chain for a while, which has been since replaced with a tiny silver stud in the side of his nose.

He paints his nails bright colors and smears glitter over his eyelids and around his eyes when he’s not wearing his sunglasses, and Steve’ll be damned if right now Bucky isn’t the happiest he’s seen him in a long, long time. 

Bucky would shrug it off and say “There’s just so many things you can _do_ to yourself now, so many ways you can _look_ ,” whenever anyone asked him why he had such an affinity for hair dye and nail paint and piercings. But it was more than that. The constant changing of his looks was therapeutic in it’s own way to Bucky. Recovery and therapy was hard for him. For the first few years, he was unstable and wouldn’t even do so much as look someone directly in the eye, especially not Steve, who’s presence only seemed to trigger him more. He’s obviously better now, but there’s still nights when he wakes up screaming, shaking, and unconsolable; but getting up the next day and knowing that he can chop off all his hair or put 30 studs in his ears or paint his nails 10 different colors and _**no one**_ could stop him or tell him he couldn’t gave him a sense of comfort. For the first time in 70+ years, _**he**_ was in control of his own body and what happened to it.

 _Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes_  
 _32557_

Bucky had gotten that tattooed on the inside of his right wrist, because that was the name, rank, and serial number of the man who’s face he wore. The man who he apparently was. He was trying hard to remember, and some things came back, in bits and pieces. On bad nights, he would look at his wrist and repeat the words and numbers over and over, to remind himself that he was _here_ and he was _safe_ and that he would never have to go back to Hydra and that he wasn’t the Winter Soldier anymore, he was different now. 

He was James “Bucky” Buchanan Barnes and he was in control of his body and he was _good_.


End file.
